So… I’m Autistic. Your Move.

When people find out I’m autistic, I’ve learned there are three main reactions:

1. “That tracks.”
   Translation: I have been quietly cataloging your quirks for years, waiting for this exact confirmation.
   Usually accompanied by a slow, knowing nod, like they’ve just solved a murder mystery, except the murderer is me… refusing to answer my phone.
2. “That doesn’t track.”
   Translation: But you make eye contact and can hold a conversation for a whole five minutes!
   This is usually followed by the kind of confused head tilt a dog does when you say “banana” in a questioning tone.
3. The Slow Talker.
   For some reason, my diagnosis makes certain people immediately switch to speaking… like… this…
   I guess they think I’m going to suddenly forget the English language if they talk at a normal pace?
   If anything, this makes me want to sprint away at full speed and start communicating exclusively in interpretive dance, just to see how they’d react.

Here’s what I wish people would say:

• “Cool.”
• “I won’t take it personally if you don’t want to hang out.”
• “Does that mean we can skip small talk and cut straight to the spicy existential stuff?”

Imagine! No more weather updates. No more, “How’s your week been?” Just straight into:

• “Do you believe in free will?”
• “What’s your most unpopular opinion?”
• “If aliens landed, would we even deserve to be invited to their planet?”

Look, I’m not asking for a parade. I just want people to know that being autistic doesn’t mean I’m fragile porcelain. It means I have a slightly different operating system—and sometimes I’d rather skip the loading screen entirely.

So yes, I’m autistic.
Your move.

He's a little bingo game I created: