7-minute read
(autism diagnosis, auDHD, autistic women, masking, autistic traits, autism assessment)
It has been one year since I nervously hit "publish" on the first post for Awkward Moments.
I honestly wasn't sure if anyone would read it.
As it turns out, many of you weren't just reading.
You were quietly recognizing yourselves.
Countless women have contacted me to say that reading the blog made them wonder whether they might also be autistic.
Some have since gone on to receive diagnoses.
Others are still figuring things out.
I do want to acknowledge something that bothers me.
A formal autism assessment simply isn't accessible to everyone.
They're expensive.
Wait lists can be years long.
Some locations barely have adult clinicians.
Many adults—especially women and gender-diverse people—don't fit the outdated stereotypes that many professionals were originally trained to recognize.
And that's before we even start talking about masking.
Or trauma.
Or chronic illness.
Or the fact that autism and ADHD together often create a presentation that looks very different from autism alone.
Many people have spent thirty, forty, or fifty years becoming extraordinarily good at hiding the very traits clinicians are trying to observe.
The result?
People who appear to be functioning beautifully while privately using 97% of their daily energy budget trying to remember where they're supposed to look during conversations.
I sincerely hope assessments continue evolving to better reflect what autistic adults actually look like in real life.
Because right now, I know too many people who have spent decades believing they're simply "bad at being a person."
I also wish a formal diagnosis wasn't such a significant gatekeeper for accommodations and supports.
Getting support shouldn't depend entirely on whether you can afford thousands of dollars for someone to officially explain why you've always needed help.
If you're an adult who's wondering whether autism might explain some of your experiences, this is one of the better collections of screening questionnaires I've found:
https://embrace-autism.com/
I'd also like to contribute something of my own to the scientific literature.
(It has not yet survived peer review, largely because there are no peers reviewing it.)
The Unofficial Autistic Diagnostic Test™
Give yourself a point for every "yes". Please answer honestly.
1. Do you own a favourite spoon?
2. Have you ever walked into a room and immediately become furious because someone turned on "the big light"?
3. Have you mentally replayed a conversation from 2009 this week?
4. Have you ever researched something so intensely that you accidentally became the world's leading expert despite never intending to?
5. Have you ever rehearsed ordering food?
6. Do you have an emotional support water bottle?
7. Has someone described you as:
- "too honest"
- "too literal"
- "quiet until you start talking about that one thing"
8. Does the sound of someone chewing make you consider changing countries?
9. Have you ever become emotionally attached to an object that nobody else understands?
10. Have you ever said, "I don't dislike people..."
...and then followed it with a six-minute explanation.
11. Have you ever become irrationally upset because someone rearranged your dishwasher?
12. When someone asks what your hobby is, do you accidentally begin delivering a university lecture?
13. Have you ever realized halfway through a conversation that you've been staring directly between someone's eyebrows?
14. Does "We're just going to mingle for a bit" sound like a threat?
15. Have you ever brought another person somewhere primarily so they could do the talking if talking became necessary?
Bonus point if this person has essentially become your emotional support extrovert.
16. Have you ever sat in your car for an unreasonable amount of time because you needed to prepare yourself to go inside?
And then needed another period of recovery in the car afterward.
19. Have you ever spent significantly more energy trying to look normal than you spent simply doing the thing?
20. Do you have very specific sleeping requirements that make you sound like an extremely demanding Victorian heiress?
21. Have you ever been given a gift and were focusing more about whether your face is making the correct expression than on the actual gift?
22. Have you ever avoided answering the door because you weren't expecting anyone and therefore they have violated the terms of the social contract?
25. Have you ever been told you're "overthinking it" when, from your perspective, you're simply thinking the correct number of thoughts required to fully understand the situation?
27. Does someone changing the plan at the last minute make you feel like they've casually announced that gravity will operate differently for the rest of the afternoon?
28. Have you ever answered a rhetorical question because nobody told you we had collectively agreed not to answer certain questions?
29. When someone says, "Make yourself at home," do you understand that this is apparently not permission to take off your pants, find the good blanket and stop speaking to everyone?
30. Have you ever spent an entire social interaction wondering what to do with your hands?
Results
0–4 points
Congratulations.
You appear suspiciously comfortable with fluorescent lighting.
I cannot relate.
5–9 points
You may simply be quirky.
Or you've spent decades developing Olympic-level masking skills.
Or both.
10–15 points
There's enough here that it may be worth learning more about autism from neuroaffirming resources.
Also... go check your kitchen drawer.
How many favourite spoons do you actually have?
16–22 points
You are dangerously close to explaining the history of Roman concrete to someone who only asked what time it is.
Please proceed to your nearest weighted blanket.
20 points
You didn't take this test.
You audited it for wording accuracy.
You disagreed with Question 7 because your emotional support water bottle has been replaced by an emotional support mug for beverage temperature preservation reasons.
You mentally corrected at least two of my questions.
You are probably already halfway through writing me an email explaining why the spoon question should have included dessert spoons.
Thank you to everyone who's read, shared, commented, laughed, cried, recognized themselves, or trusted me enough to tell me your own story over the past year.
I never expected a little blog about awkward moments to become a place where so many people would say:
"Wait... I thought I was the only one."
Apparently, none of us were.
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